Tuesday, November 29, 2011

THIS CHRISTMAS...


Create a Holiday Intention

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

8:48 AM

Create a Holiday Intention by Betty Mahalik

To listen to the media you would think there was one thing and one thing only that the holidays are about: shopping! Black Friday, Cyber-Monday, Small-Business Saturday, advertising circulars and everything on sale!! Sure gift-giving and shopping play a big part in Christmas, Hanukah and any other December holiday people celebrate. But it’s not the ONLY thing, and surely not the most important thing. 

It’s so easy to get caught up in the mania, or to do just the opposite, crawl under the covers with a “bah-humbug!” and try to avoid it all. But neither really deals with the issue of letting someone or something else decide what the holidays mean to you. 

This week, I invite you to join me in setting your holiday intention. Just for clarification, an intention is not a goal. It’s more the context in which the goals happen. It’s a reminder of the mind, spirit or attitude we want to focus on during a given period, be it a day, week, month or just the next hour. We all know that the holidays will come and go. Shopping, cooking, gift-wrapping and entertaining will be done. We will at times feel rushed, lose our patience, want to run away to an island at some point during the December madness. 

BUT, and it is a big BUT, we get to choose the spirit in which those things happen. And that is what I mean by setting an intention. Following are some examples of intentions that may help you enjoy rather than suffer through the next few weeks. Remember the “goal” of setting an intention is awareness not perfection. So here you go: 

Quiet—Does this intention resonate for you? Then set aside some time regularly to absorb quiet that you then bring with you into the chaos and noisiness of the holidays.

Connection—Setting this intention might mean re-connecting with someone you’ve lost touch with, or finding a way to deepen the connection (without huge emotional attachment) to those you’re in contact with regularly. It could even mean actually looking into the eyes of that harried store clerk or the Salvation Army bell-ringer and saying a sincere “thank you.”

Spirit—Even if you aren’t particularly religious, the holidays can put you in touch with your own spiritual nature if that is your intent.

Generosity—Setting this intention may look like foregoing those extra stocking-stuffers for family and sharing with those who are less fortunate. No shortage of opportunities for generosity—even those small “random acts of kindness” are beautiful examples of generosity. I believe when we’re generous it not only expands our hearts but brings like acts of kindness back to us.

Peace—Like quiet above, perhaps it will be your intention to bring a spirit of peace and calm to your holiday activities and interactions.

Patience—Creating an intention to practice patience could transform how you respond to the many irritations and delays (standing in line at a store, waiting in traffic, listening to Uncle Fred tell the same jokes he’s told forever). There is something beautiful about patience and restraint.

Presence—Finding a way to be fully present could actually be a present—as in a gift—to those you love and touch this season. Will this be your holiday intention?

Simplicity—Setting this as an intention may have you re-thinking your whole approach to holiday decorating, gift-giving and the entire season in general. Hmmm…. 



Stop for a moment and think about how you’d like to feel around Jan. 2. Now back up and ask yourself which of the intentions above (or another of your choosing) will be the “special sauce” to help you arrive at the new year feeling that way. Remember it’s not about perfection, it’s about awareness. Once you’ve clearly set your holiday intention, set up little moments throughout your day to remind you to focus on it in a gentle way. 

Whatever you finally decide, and I hope you do DECIDE, keep returning gently and consistently to that intent. The truth is that unless YOU decide for yourself, the runaway momentum of this season (and the Madison Avenue marketing wizards) may take you for a ride you’d rather not take. 

Quiet, connection, spirit, generosity, peace, patience, presence, simplicity or something else? There is no right intention, just what is right for you. So what will it be? Take a few minutes to decide with your heart not your head, then watch as your holidays unfold and transform into more of what you intend them to be. 

As always, enjoy the journey.





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